Missing identity

June 12, 2009

One day (an absurd concept in Hell which is eternal and where there is no day or night or time zones or theoreticians to speculate on the nature of time) Harcourt wondered who he was. This came up because in wondering how to leave Hell, he wondered what skills he could bring to the [...]

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Agonies of the dark world

June 10, 2009

In Hell, Harcourt had a great deal of time on his hands. When he lived, this was something he enjoyed because he was a reflective fellow and enjoyed thinking about serious issues.
Not so in Hell.
Condemned to perdition and with oodles of time on his hands for thought, his mind would only play the same Nickleback [...]

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Celebrities

June 9, 2009

There were many celebrities in Hell. But no one cared.
In Hell, celebrities lived the most chaste and well-behaved of lives. They had no choice.
So they were never on Entertainment Tonight (which was also in Hell).
They were too boring.

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The wrong crowd

June 9, 2009

At first, Harcourt was disturbed by how many Nazis were in Hell. It made him feel as if he was hanging with the wrong crowd.
He quickly realized, however, that all of them were the most orthodox of Jews now. This was their hellish torment.
It made them so mad.

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The Satanic Bordello

June 9, 2009

Harcourt found death boring.
There was no inter-mingling.
All the men went to Hell. All the women went to Heaven. That is, all the women except the ones who went to the Satanic Bordello down the road that required a password to get in.
Bordellos were meaningless in Hell since no man had a penis anymore.
And, buxom as [...]

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Eternity

June 8, 2009

The day before Harcourt blew up in his car it had occurred to him that the only difference between his life and a reality TV show was the absence of commercials.
This, he believed, explained why he always had to go to the bathroom.
His life was without pause.
Well, until the car blew up.

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It begins

June 8, 2009

Harcourt started his car.
It blew up.
As he lay dying, Harcourt thought, “This wouldn’t have happened if I’d been more eco-conscious and had walked.”

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